NEW SECTION: For the Man with a Plan #1: What's the sexiest thing a man can do to a woman?
Men who ask questions, men who show their interest by wanting to know more about your life, are sexy as hell. This simple act, is biologically, for most women I know, one of the fastest and sure-fire ways to get her blood pumping. You want her finger in her mouth, and her mind on what's under your suit pants? Mmmmm hmmm. Well, here it is. You are welcome. This requires a bit of work on your end, I know, but the pay off. Oh the pay off.
Questions are hot. Not the Spanish Inquisition kind of questions mind, but thoughtful questions about who she is, what she cares about and what she wants from life. Goddamn. Ask me AGAIN.
You want a woman to give you that "'get over here, NOW!" look? You know that look, hell, I am currently making that look just thinking about a man free range inquiring about all aspects of my life. God yes, more please.
Yeah? Like that? Well us too. We want to look at you like that also. More than you think. If you want to bring out the dirty in your girl without cranking up the sex chat (see some thoughts on that below)....
ASK QUESTIONS. GENUINE ONES. LOTS OF THEM.
Bypass her brain at your peril gentlemen. We are wired for mental stimulation and safety. You hit those things, we will hit you. Not as in "in the face" hit you, but "grab you by the hair" H-I-T you, you feel me? ;-)
We women really appreciate you taking the time to get to know us, we are most responsive when you give a shit about what is going on for us. When you are genuinely curious about who we are and what makes us tick...makes us not only want to take our underwear off underneath the dining table, but also it makes us feel safe. This combination is unbeatable in the turn-on stakes. You just went from a 2 to a 10.
Bleedingly obvious, yet apparently not THAT obvious.
Case in point: one of the guys I have "talked to" on and off over the years (this has dragged on for an age) is a fabulous example of what NOT to do. Every conversation, no matter how benign, once the basic pleasantries are done, relates to sex, his dick or some kind of boring as batshit sexual innuendo. I have more times than I care to think about, subtly at first, and now absolutely blatantly, bordering on abjectly rude, told him that if you deign not to inquire about any of me, not even a small corner or crevice, that is located more than 10cm from my vagina, then frankly kind sir, I care not for you. Any of you. At all. Ever.
You certainly won't be getting within that 10cm range now will you sunshine?
As a further exercise in hilarity, I recently skimmed through our convos over the last FOUR years (yes I am a slow learner), and only 11 out of around 300 or so individual interactions relate to something other than sex on his part. ELEVEN!!!!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? What is WRONG with me? Jesus, I just won gold at the Bored Women Olympics for One Sided Sex Chat Marathon. How sad is that? #shootmenow
So gorgeous men of the world, don't be that guy; it's annoying, selfish and not a turn on. In fact, there could be nothing less sexy than that kind of mindless inattentive yip yap. Instead of giving her sex chat or thoughtless jibber jabber, give her YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. All of it. Hence, undivided. Be that man that we want to get up close to, to nuzzle into your neck in appreciation of being seen and heard, because let me tell you this gentleman if you're into us and all about asking us what makes us who we are, then we are sure as hell going to be into you.
This little tip was inspired by an episode of Mia Freedman's podacst No Filter and her interview with Blanlche D'Alpguet. For a belly laugh, and also for one of the most warm and frank conversations I have heard lately, here's the link to listen in:
Welcome to Man Plan.
This is a new section I have created for all you gorgeous men in my life with a plan to grab yourself a gorgeous like-minded conscious switched on sexy as all get out woman, but maybe also for whom a little help will go a long way. You know, you gorgeous guys out there, who could use with us ladies being ever so slightly demystified.
Not Glad Wrap transparent, I get it, vaginal steaming is probs too much, let's leave a little mystery in play, but here's where I thought I would put all the incredibly insightful things that I have collected over 20 years of disastrous dating attempts.
For in amongst all the piles of dirt (largely of my own making I'll admit), are some absolute gems. There are things we women are not always upfront about, because sometimes we ourselves don't know exactly what we want or we don't know how to say what we want. You are not mind readers, and it's only fair that we share this with you, rather than punish you for not knowing.
This section of Miss Cook & Co is designed to throw some light on that. Not in immense detail, just enough so we can all stop stumbling around in the dark.
Each of these love nuggets (ha!) is going to be super quick (very unlike me), Man-Friendly in length for those buys men on the go, you boys who just want to lean in close enough for me to whisper some incredibly amazing dating tips in your ear that could possibly change your life for the better.
So come a little closer, because I have something to tell you honey....